SPY

Retail investors who think they're missing out on the big money because they don't have a million bucks to get into a hedge fund should consider themselves lucky. Hedge funds had their best year in a decade in 2009 -- and yet they couldn't even beat the broader market.

For its current issue, Newsweek tried something new, bringing in Stephen Colbert as its first-ever guest editor. But for the issue's cover, it resorted to something not so new, borrowing a visual joke from the long-defunct satire magazine Spy: