The wait is over. Finally there's a new sneaker on the market for women that makes your butt look so great, no one will ever look at your face again.

Not only that, these sneakers have the power to make your boobs talk to each other!

Reebok's Easytone sneakers are supposed to firm and tone your butt to such an extent that the actress in one of their ads actually has to halt her pitch several times to chide the cameraman for lingering on her posterior. "Dude!" she says, and the camera, momentarily startled, goes back to business. It follows her like a puppydog and then, once again, the actress has to remind it to focus a few feet north.



These sneakers apparently build your body 12 different ways, just like Wonderbread. Reebok claims these sneakers provide 28 percent more gluteus maximus muscle activation, and 11% more calf and hamstring activation.

Personally, I'm 100 percent ready to buy them, except for a couple of things that are nagging me. First of all, there's another ad in the series that features a woman's chest, clad in a demi-bra that just might be one size too small. There are voices. The voices are talking to each other. It takes a moment to realize that ... the woman's boobs are having a private conversation. They're discussing how much they hate the butt that also happens to be attached to their host's body. The butt gets the attention, they argue, and it's not all good.

Eventually, the battling boobs agree that Reebok's EasyTone sneakers will solve the problem, because they are "proven to tone your butt more than regular sneakers." Why this should calm them isn't clear, but it could be an example of boob-logic that we aren't meant to comprehend.

I don't know about you, but when I have trouble sleeping at night, I tell my boobs to hush up. Naturally, I am thankful there is a brand of sneaker that will settle those late-night arguments.