Waste not, want not; the mantra of 2009 is also the business plan of dreamscapes' Sex Toy Recycling Program. Stop giggling and read! This is environmentally responsible stuff. The company takes clean used "toys" by mail, disassembles (I'd like to see that job description) and recycles the component materials. Some of these devices (so I've heard) can be quite complex, containing motors, metal bits, rubber, silicone, plastics of various density, and, of course, batteries.

Still not convinced you want to part with your purring paramour? Those who send in a "package of toys" will receive a $10 gift card good on purchases from affiliated companies. For affiliation, companies must pay Dreamscapes a $450 fee, although agents who sell via home parties can join as a group. Apparently, these agents must accept a lot of trade-ins.

However, for Apple's iPhone owners, there may be an even better deal on self-gratification (as if owning an iPhone wasn't self-gratifying enough). According to Gizmodo, Apple has approved the MyVibe Thighs-On, an app that uses the phone's vibration capabilities to stimulate your, er, curiosity. This MyPleasure.com product could be just the ticket for those long transcontinental flights. I can see a movie based on this concept already: ****** On A Plane.