Back to Mobile View

Recessionary beards: When the going gets tough, the tough stop shaving!

Posted 6:00PM 03/27/09 Careers, Family Money
1 Comments Print Text Size A A A
On March 14, hirsute New Yorkers competed in the city's fourth annual contest for the best beard in the five boroughs. In addition to its normal selection of events, including "Full Beard Natural," "Full Beard Freestyle" and even "Ladies' Artificial," this year's competition debuted a new category: "Recession Beards." (EDITOR'S NOTE: If you've got a great recession beard, upload a photo to our Facebook group, and we'll put together a gallery and let you help us select a winner!)

To compete in the Recession Beard event, contestants had to fulfill two requirements: they had to be out of work, and they had to be proud of their beards. The winner, Nate Stahura, who recently lost his job as a financial broker, said of his unkempt chin (and his prize), "It feels awesome [...] I'm awesome!"

While some media outlets have commented on the recession beard phenomenon, few have hazarded a guess as to its cause. The consensus opinion seems to be that unemployment offers the beard grower a greater level of freedom to experiment with his appearance. Many workplaces frown on facial hair, and those that allow it often have rules about length and cut. As unemployment releases the worker from the strictures of the office, the theory goes, he can use his newfound freedom as an opportunity to explore his chin locks.This theory explains a lot, but barely shaves the surface of the phenomenon. It completely ignores the evolutionary power of whiskers. Facial hair is a visible, outward sign of one's masculinity; by growing beards, unemployed workers suggest that, evidence to the contrary, they have not been "unmanned" by their recent job troubles.

Taking this assertion as a starting point, it follows that the longer the beard, the more masculinity it exudes. Thus, while John Waters' pencil-thin moustache offers an air of sleaze and David Niven's well-trimmed lip locks suggest sophistication, Grizzly Adams' thick beard indicates a bottomless well of high-powered testosterone. The same, of course, goes for facial hair icons ZZ Top, Gimli the Dwarf and Rutherford B. Hayes.

The recession beard phenomenon has come at a very seredipitous time, at least in terms of men's fashion. In many ways, today's slim silhouette and natty fabrics suggest a return to the styles of yesteryear. Recession beards are well poised to take advantage of that trend, particularly given the fact that beard styles for the past couple of decades have been downright anemic. After all, as impressive as Kenny Rodgers' chin locks are, they hardly hold a candle to Ming the Merciless' satanic "French Fork" beard. Other notable beard wearers, from Franz Josef to Napoleon III offer options both iconic and exciting.

If you're contemplating a recession beard, Wondermark has a fantastic piece on beard taxonomies. Personally, I'm contemplating a full handlebar with twisted ends, possibly paired with a petit goatee. My current goatee/moustache combo is just a little too 2005!
Bruce Watson

Bruce Watson

Features Writer

 Bruce Watson is a features writer for DailyFinance, focusing on the political and cultural effects of economic events. A contributor to Military Lessons of the Persian Gulf War, A Chronology of the Cold War at Sea, the Journal of American Philosophy, A Cafe in Space, and the forthcoming Peanut Butter, Gooseberries, and Latkes!  He has also worked as a research assistant in the British House of Commons and at the United States Naval Institute.

SUBSCRIBE TO:
RSS

Add a Comment

*0 / 3000 Character Maximum
Newswire

Compare Mortgage Rates

Mortgage Rates by Zillow
Follow Us

Headlines From DailyFinance Partners

CNN Money
CNBC
Smart Money
Consumer Reports
Huffington Post
AOL Energy
AOL Jobs
Business News Personal Finance Investing Our Partners

DailyFinance Sitemap | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Trademarks | HELP | Advertise With Us

© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved