Why Saving for Our Kids' Education Is Not Our Top Priority

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Four college students studying on the lawn in the campus, Studying, Education
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When it comes to providing, a parent's job is never done. Food, shelter and clothing barely scratch the surface. What about college, weddings and help as children start their first careers? Balancing those latter costs with the priority of saving for your own future costs, like retirement, is tricky at best.

I spoke with investors who proudly admitted they had saved up a significant amount of money for their children's college education at the expense of their own retirement savings. While I applaud the desire to help your child pay for college, I believe it shows a misaligned priority and one that my wife and I hope to avoid. I'm not saying that we're aiming to be part of the 50 percent of parents who aren't saving for college, but simply that, as a priority, college savings must come after saving for retirement.

Retirement Planning Should Be Job No. 1

I know this isn't a popular statement, but it's my opinion that retirement planning should be the primary concern of most parents, with saving for college being a distant second. The average millennial will need at least $1.6 million if they retire at 65, so it's safe to say that regardless of your age, you're going to need a sizable chunk of money to enjoy a relatively secure retirement.

What tugs on parents' heartstrings is the nagging feeling that prioritizing retirement saving ahead of saving for a child's college education equates to loving your children less than yourself. I understand that feeling, on one level, but it shows a misplaced priority, in my opinion. There are loans and scholarships for college. Nobody is going to give you a scholarship for retirement.

We Don't Want to Be a Burden to Our Children

The main reason my wife and I aren't prioritizing saving for college is because we don't want to be a burden on our children as they get older. Whether or not we like it, putting their college accounts ahead of our retirement accounts will only hinder our efforts build up the nest egg we'll need to. That might not seem like as big an issue now, but fast-forward 20 or 30 years, and the lost investment time will be felt.

What gets lost in the saving for retirement vs. saving for college debate is what is in the best interest of the child long-term. Putting enough away to fully fund a college education is great. However, what good are you to your children if you need to live with them as you age because you didn't prepare for yourself? That also assumes they'll be in a position to help you. If they're not, then what becomes of you? Of course, that's the extreme end of the spectrum, but it highlights the importance of finding a healthy balance.

Saving for College Doesn't Have to Be All or Nothing

Too often we view saving for our children's college education as an all-or-nothing situation. You can balance saving for retirement and college –- even if the latter isn't the priority. That is what my wife and I do. We save each month for our children's college education, but it pales in comparison to what we put away for our retirement. There are two more reasons for our approach, other than not wanting to be a burden later in life:
  • I believe that children should be prepared for the cost of things so that they can live financially responsible lives as adults. This spans from budgeting for everyday expenses to larger-ticket items like college.
  • We want our children to view the college question through the paradigm of whether or not it's best for them. We want them to consider deeply what's going to make them happy and what's going to allow them to earn a decent living. We want them to see there are ways to fund or lower the cost of college that don't solely come down to student loans. All of those things go back to financial literacy.
I don't believe that means we love our children any less, but it means we love them enough to not be a burden on them while also helping prepare them for college (and their lives as adults thereafter) as opposed to just fully funding their college experience.

While we don't make saving for college a priority, that doesn't mean we don't view it as important. We view it in light of other factors that are going to both meet our retirement needs as well as help prepare our children for a life of sound financial discipline.

John Schmoll is the founder of Frugal Rules, a finance blog that regularly discusses investing, budgeting, and frugal living. He is a father, husband and veteran of the financial services industry who's passionate about helping people find freedom through frugality. He also writes about wise ways to manage your money at WiseDollar.org.


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29 Comments

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Iselin007

The schools loading are the up the students with debt that will seldom result in anything near the careers they hoped for. While the kids are in school vainly piling up debt the imported workforce on H1b and other visas are entering the US for their jobs at an alarming rate!

It's no wonder the participation rate is so low the students are graduating college and getting in back of the long line for crap jobs while they wait their turn in replacing older workers who are forced out of the workforce with any excuse the desperate managers can dream up.

August 20 2014 at 10:45 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
razov

There are two issues here missing from the article and this discussion. The first is the excessive cost increases for college, way out of line with inflation or normal economic growth. Part of the skyrocking costs of higher education were fueled by the availability of cheap student loans. Colleges and universities have no incentive to reduce operating costs. I agree with the posts that a 4-yr college degree is not appropriate for everyone, so school counselors should offer vocational career alternatives.

The second factor to consider in the retirement vs. education debate is the actual investment mechanism. Most states have 529 college savings plans with well-managed portfolios that yield decent returns. If started at birth, regular, contributions grow tax-free. You can sock away $250,000 or more this way. Then, right before your son or daughter's graduation, you have to time the last withdrawal so any surplus can be taken out and transferred into your retirement account or given to your graduating child. But beware, there are tax implications for non-educational withdrawals.

August 20 2014 at 10:17 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
europlan

My wife worked part time jobs in retail and restaurants while our two kids were growing up and entering college. Our kids have no student loan debt through undergraduate school.They worked and we worked and university was affordable then relative to our wage effort. . My wife went to ci ollege later in life , graduating at 52 years of age. She tested out of several courses, commuted for two years and attended a well respected college for health care administration.This college allowed mostly distance edcuation options, although some residency was reuquired. Obtaining the degree did allow her to enter the health insurance industry, and perhaps "catch up" a bit. That said most of her supervisors, right up through her retirement at 68.5 two months ago did not have colllege degrees. They were smart people, mostly women who got into the professional insurance labor force at the right tme, and they wound up managing college degree holders.Thy obtained certificates and learned through OJT.

August 20 2014 at 10:14 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
phpoling

College degrees does nothing for you expect for doctors and lawyers and more. But still it had been shown in the reccession, have those degrees but no jobs. It does made you to wonder if going to colleges are worth of your time and money anyway

August 19 2014 at 10:21 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
2 replies to phpoling's comment
gee.effwye

Reading your comment makes me wonder if you made it farther than 3rd grade.

August 19 2014 at 10:29 PM Report abuse -3 rate up rate down Reply
Iselin007

Many of the students are competing for college openings with foreign nationals just trying to skirt immigration laws an hoard the US job market for their own. Often the foreign nationals don't show up for class because their busy trying to get jobs away from US workers. Meanwhile US students waste their time believing their degrees will get them a job in thgeir field. The for profit schools see the desperation using the unfortunate situation as an exuse to con layed off workers into training for jobs that don't exist in numbers so great it assures success for the for profits school and nothing for the grad!

August 20 2014 at 10:53 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
supermolar

it is not a priority because
schools are overpriced
kids learn NOTHING new in their first 2 years
they can get drunk and party at home for free
if the DO somehow graduate they will get a job that does NOT require college.

August 19 2014 at 9:41 PM Report abuse +3 rate up rate down Reply
eeverettm

Generation Entitlement is what it comes down to for these young people.

August 19 2014 at 7:31 PM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
flakshak

Tell them to join the military to get help with their education and learn a lot about the real world at the same time. There should be no free lunch, that's what's giving kids (and adults) an entitlement mentality.

August 19 2014 at 1:50 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Tim L

If you live below your means and start early enough, it's possible to do both. Some of this comes down to a personal family choice, which I respect. But I personally don't want to see my children saddled with college debt. I understand the argument of teaching them financial responsibility, but there are other ways to do that than making them deal with a large college bill at age 21.

I'd rather pay for most or all of their college so they get off on the right foot financially. I know too many friends who exited school with college loans and it impacted everything from what jobs they could take, to how much credit card debt they had to take on, to their ability to save for a down payment on a home.

The best lesson to teach young people is that debt is bad. There's no such thing as good debt.

August 19 2014 at 1:38 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to Tim L's comment
vlady1000

I agree with u. It is possible to plan for both and at the same time teach the kid to respect the sacrifices u made for them to get them off on the right foot upon graduation. But I also taught our kids there is good debt, as it can make you money if used and structured correctly. The kids are now 29 and 31, and neither one has borrowed for a car, bever a CC balance, etc. But they have borrowed for rental properties, business adventures, and one for a medical degree. All were good debt

August 19 2014 at 10:14 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
rgkarasiewicz

What sense is there at all in saving for a child's upper education just so he/she can land a frickin' $10.50 CNC laborer's job verses a $7.25 burger flipping one? Pure madness.

August 19 2014 at 11:47 AM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply
gmsexton

who says you can't do both? further, nothing says your kid can't foot part of the bill. i certainly worked full time and paid for all of my education. i didn't have ridiculous amounts of student debt, in fact i had none. it's not that hard to get an education, no one gives a crap if you go to an ivy league school. no one has ever asked what my GPA was or cares about where i went to college.. just if i did and what my degree was in. parents can provide what support they can afford. end of conversation. and yes they should save for their future first, but understand there is almost no circimstances where you can't afford to do both. you may have to alter your life style... but it's certainly something you can accomplish. it's not a choice of either or....

August 19 2014 at 11:12 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to gmsexton's comment
ovstampco

You must be very old , I saved for college too...back in the 1970's . I worked at a gas station for ONE year and saved almost $6000 . With the $6k I was able to pay tuition , room and board at the dorm and books for a year and a half !
Just think of todays poor kids , If you worked a minimum wage job for a year now you could save enough for 2 months tuition , expenses and room and board . If a kid now lived at home for free , had a minimum wage job and saved every penny he or she made they would be 32 years old before they could afford the cost of a 4 year degree at a good University - they would be 36 or 36 when they graduated - just old enough to be a victim of age desrimination when they apply for their first job....

August 19 2014 at 12:48 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to ovstampco's comment
Iselin007

Todays students don't realize what the trade deals and greedy investors have done to the American Dream. Those students who believed that manufacturing was obsolete and a thing of the past are now feeling the effects of high tuition as investors caused the shaving of US employment and import labor. Now we have more retail and less full time good jobs for the population then what can sustain America!

August 20 2014 at 11:04 AM Report abuse rate up rate down