Surprise: You've just inherited a fortune. Now it's your job to spend that dough as fast as possible. Well, to help you prepare for the life of a tycoon we thought it would be a good exercise to see how you could most efficiently blow a large chunk of money every hour or two. Here are ten suggestions; surely you have some of your own to add in the comments section that follows.
1. Bon Jovi Diamond package concert ticket: $1,875
One way to tell that you're a tycoon -- you don't have anyone blocking your view at a Bon Jovi concert, because you're sitting in the front row in your own collectible Bon Jovi Concert Chair, sipping your VIP cocktail from the open bar. You can carry your souvenir ticket, your Bon Jovi Gift Shop $150 gift card, and your autographed program in your Bon Jovi leather messenger bag. Add in catering, express check-in, VIP parking and a personal host and the Diamond Package price tag of $1,875 seems like a steal. But only if you really, really, really like Bon Jovi.
2. Brunch -- Champagne, caviar and melon, for two: $150,877 apiece
What better way to follow up a night of sybaritic Jovi-delights than a brunch of champagne, caviar and fresh melon. Especially when the champagne is a 1907 Heidsieck that spent 80 years on the bottom of the sea off the coast of Finland. The bubbly, preserved to perfection, is now available at the Ritz-Carlton in Moscow for only $275,000 a bottle.
Pair this with Iranian Almas caviar, from the Beluga sturgeon. The primo stuff sells for $10,454 a pound, and comes in an attractive real-gold tin.
Top off the feast with a slice of perfectly ripe melon, perhaps one from Yubari, Japan, where the winning auction bid for one of the succulent, perfectly formed melons recently reached $16,300. I make that around $2,000 a slice. 3. Buy a great suit: $20,000
According to AskMen.com, the top "bespoke" tailor of men's suits in the U.S. is New York City's William Fioravanti. (Bespoke tailors make suits precisely to your body, not from standard patterns). You'll choose your own fabric from some of the world's most sumptuous, and endure up to three fittings before you can walk out confident that you are turned out like few men on Earth. Expect to pay from $6,000 all the way up to $20,000, depending on fabric and styling.
Women interested in a high-quality power suit might consider Alexander Amosu. Although based in Pall Mall, London. the firm promises it will come to you for a fitting anywhere in the world. Its custom-made suits begin at $3,500, and top out at $100,000 for a recent creation, made with golden thread and the best fabrics, including vicuña.
4. Drive the legendary Nürburgring Nordschleife race car track in Germany: $2,000
The northern loop of this track in Nüburg, Germany (the town is the track's interior) is legendary as the site of some of the greatest Formula One racing in history. Now you too can test your skills on its 20.8 kilometers of twists and straightaways. You could bring your own car or an airport rental, but if you're going to do this thing, why not do it the tycoon way? Renting a Porsche GT3 RS 997 will set you back around $1,800 for two hours; but what a two hours! Add in the track ticket (eight circuits, around $180) and you're set for unparalleled thrills.
For details about these touristtenfahrten (tourist drives), check out the excellent Nürburgring for dummies
5. Baccarat in Macau, China: $20,000
The new Las Vegas of the Pacific Rim, Macau in China, has become the favorite gambling place for many of China's nouveau-riche. Why not join them in an hour's worth of the card game baccarat, James Bond's game of choice? The game provides a relatively small advantage to the house (under 2%), meaning that in an average hour (remembering that, in gambling, there are no average hours) you'd recoup at least 98% of your bet. If you played 10 hands in an hour at $100,000 per, you could maybe walk away down only $20,000.
6. Lady of the evening, East Coast, U.S.: $3,100
Now, we're not condoning this common tycoon indulgence, but we have to recognize it exists, ever since a certain New York governor and tycoon-in-training was busted in a sexual tryst with a lady of the evening. Her hourly rate certainly opened the eyes of those of us who would never have dreamed of buying such services. According a screenshot in the Huffington Post, Eliot Spitzer was buying from the highest-priced shelf of the Emperor's Club. The cremé de la cremé of the Club's roster, the seven-diamond escort, set him back $3,100 an hour. The company did, however, offer better rates for multiple-hour engagements.
While there are certainly men who provide a similar service to women clients, we are still waiting for a scandal that will reveal the going rate.
7. Spa treatment: $5,000
Penthouse guests at the very upscale Hotel Victor in South Beach, Fla. need not spend the day like the rest of us, with skin hydrated with mere tap water. The in-house spa, Spa V, will arrange an Evian Bath. For only $5,000, the guest can soak in 350 gallons of the imported mineral water sprinkled with rose petals. An hour in that bath and you'll have the most expensive pruney skin in all of the U.S.
8. Hair cut/styling: $800
Americans obsess about their hair, and as a new tycoon, you should, too. That's why you shouldn't blink when presented with the bill for $800 to have your hair done at the New York City salon, Orlo. There, renowned stylist Orlando Pita will make the most out of your uncooperative mop. He's done it for Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow, and you know what dogs they were before he performed his magic on them.
9. Sub-orbital flight, New Mexico: $200,000
For a mere $200 K, Virgin Galactic, an offshoot of Sir Richard Branson's Virgin empire, will rocket you into the outer reaches of Earth's atmosphere, where you will float weightless for a few minutes 62 miles above the big blue marble. The trip, which will take around two hours from launch to touchdown, will depart from its specially built space station in New Mexico. The space ship is hauled aloft by a specially-built twin-carriage plane. When sufficiently high, the space ship detaches and its rocket. propels you into sub-orbit. There you can take in the awe-inspiring view and play with weightlessness before beginning a controlled descent ending in a controlled airplane-like landing.
The first commercial flight is not scheduled until perhaps 2012, though, so that leaves you plenty of time to become accustomed to your new life style.
10. Balloon ride over the Serengeti: $499
Imagine waking before dawn in the darkness of the Serengeti in Tanzania, then ascending in a hot air balloon just as the sun crests the far horizon. You are floating along with an unparalleled view of the wildlife; perhaps a lion stalking its prey. Or, if you're lucky, the great million-strong wildebeest migration. Sure, the one-hour ride will set you back $499, but the memories will last a lifetime.
And tycoons can live a long, long time.
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