White Collar Reset: In the weeds, with any luck
For months now my job coach has been encouraging me to redirect my search from the sclerotic fields of publishing and media to a "growth" industry. I think I've finally found it. Actually, it was my mother-in-law who came up with the idea. Last week she was talking to her daughter on the phone and, as she's wont to do, asked, "So, has your husband found a job yet?" When my wife emitted her usual "Noooo," her mother responded with uncharacteristic cheerfulness, "Then I've got the perfect job for him. And he can make $20 million a year."
"What is it, drug dealing?"
"Well, yeah."
What 79-year-old Rose Marie Renda had astutely picked up on in her hawk-like watching of cable news was that New Jersey, where we reside, looks as if it could be the first major Northeastern state affected by the new more lenient medical marijuana policy announced by the Obama Justice Department last week. According to the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, which has been monitoring the situation in Trenton for eight years, there is now at least a "50/50 chance" that a bill authorizing medical marijuana dispensaries will pass the current session of the legislature. If it does, Governor Jon Corzine has already said he'll sign it.
I'm aware I'm treading on treacherous psychological ground here. No matter how bad things have gotten over the past eight months, until now I haven't resorted to illegal, or recently illegal, activities. I watch Weeds. I know how slippery this slope is. One day you're opening a nice little state-sanctioned head shop in Montclair. Before you turn around, a Mexican drug lord is taking over your mortgage. But I also know this: Something's gotta give.
"You're the fifth person in New Jersey I've talked to in the past week," said NORML executive director Allen St. Pierre from his office in Washington, D.C. "There are people in Atlantic City and Asbury Park ready to sign leases. There's another guy, kind of a famous character who moved out to California a few years ago to open a dispensary and goes by the name 'New Jersey Weedman,' who has been very public in saying that as soon as Corzine signs the bill he's going home." (Darn, I need to come up with another name now.)
I quizzed St. Pierre's on my mother-in-law's projections. It seems she'd plucked the $20 mil figure from news reports about the Harborside Health Center in Oakland, California, the first state to authorize the sale of medical marijuana, way back in 1996. The facility, one of the subjects of a Fortune cover story last month, occupies the sizable former address of the Oakland Port Authority. "The building has the largest walk-in safe in the city," he explained. "You can go in the back and there'll be giants stacks and stacks of fives, tens and twenties. It looks like a scene in any large commercial bank. Or Scarface," he added with a laugh, "depending on your perspective."
Of the thousands of other dispensaries around the state (an estimated 1,200 of them in L.A. alone) most are more along the lines of the small storefront variety I had in mind, at least to start. I asked Pierre what one of those could bring in. "It depends on your work ethic. Some in L.A. don't open until noon and close at 3 P.M. But if you maintain anything close to normal business hours, you're probably talking $4,000 to $7,000 a day. Figure 65 percent for product, so a margin of 35 percent to cover your nut."
I crunched a few numbers in my head and ran a quick side-by-side with the paltry checks I've been chasing down of late. I actually began to feel high.
I kept Pierre on the phone figuring out next steps. Even once the bill passes, there will likely be a host of compliance issues to deal with. Tapping into the right network of physicians, for example. (In California, many doctors have begun almost specializing in medical marijuana referrals. "Chronic pain" is the most common diagnosis, followed closely by depression and anxiety. Well down the list are the traditional cancer patients undergoing chemo, etc.) Bookkeeping is another sticky wicket. New Jersey is modeling its bill on the California model, in which the dispensaries are technically "non-profit" and shareholders must limit themselves to "reasonable" salaries. "I strongly suggest you find a good lawyer," he said.
Frankly, though, I was less concerned with all that than what struck me as a far more fundamental prerequisite. See, I'm not really what you'd call a call "stoner." Sure, in high school, I was part of the cannabis clique, but that was a long time ago, and even then I was a sorry excuse for a burnout, too concerned with my grades to wake and bake or spend summers following The Grateful Dead (a lotta good that did me, huh?). Pierre acknowledged that, especially as the market heats up, strong product knowledge and affinity for the customer will be what separates the successful operations from the also-rans. But that's also where Oaksterdam University comes in, the trade school founded in Oakland two years ago to drill erstwhile dispensary operators in the ins and outs of the field.
"It's an unbelievable program," said Pierre, an Oaksterdam grad himself. "At the start, they have everyone take a test to determine their baseline knowledge. I've been doing this for 30 years, and, well, I'll put it this way -- I know a little bit about pot. And I scored a 72 percent, which they said was one of the highest they'd seen. Which tells you a couple of things. First, the test is probably too hard. Second, there's a lot about operating a medical marijuana store -- in terms of the medical issues, molds and spores, accounting and legal issues -- that even the most experienced marijuana people need to get up to speed on. So, you may not be as far behind the curve as you think."
It was an excellent point. I've been considering going back to school anyway. Why not in cannabusiness?
Before we hung up, Pierre assured me he's checking in with his sources in the New Jersey legislature on an almost daily basis. "Right now, the bill is caught up in a bunch of classic Northeast politics horse-trading nonsense. It's getting thrown in with all sorts of other issues that have nothing to do with marijuana, like Port Authority projects and off-track betting." One way or the other, he said, we should know by the end of November.
Here's hoping.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 5)
10-26-2009 @ 3:22PM
Iridium said...
When all else fails turn to drugs, prostitution, and other vices.
Medical Marijuana is a complete joke. Why is "Chronic Pain" the #1 diagnosis. Well because it is the easiest thing to fake. Dispenseries are nothing more than legal outlets for an illegal drug.
Opiates are very good at relieving pain. How about we have legal heroin stands.
While we are at it let's put Shaggin Shacks on every street corner.
Life is so hard for a lot of people. Let's build suicide booths. $199 to end it all in a quick painless way. Your body will be dumped below and burned to generate power. The public will get a net net benefit.
Sure you can try to legitimize it but in every way a legal Medical Marijuana stand is nothing more than a drug dealer den. You'll be ruining lives to profit from it. Just like every illegal drug dealer. A lot of them are very rich as well.
Governments want these stands because it is a new form of tax revenue. Smoking sales are way down and so is tax revenue from it. Why not just get everyone hooked on pot. There is a lot of tax revenue to be had.
SO sad that an old woman is telling people to become drug dealers to make money. What a great country we have.
Reply
10-26-2009 @ 6:08PM
dekman said...
I have to say...I agree with you 100%!
10-26-2009 @ 7:36PM
Voice O Reason said...
Spoken like a person NOT in pain. I do not take illegal drugs. I am the GM at a company I have worked at for 25 years. However, I must take prescription pain meds. I am SOOOO tired of taking pills, and worrying about becoming addicted to them. oh, BTW, I do have a confirmed medical reason for the meds, and will probably be crippled in the next 5-10 years. If pot can provide relief, then I am all for it.
10-26-2009 @ 7:42PM
Derek said...
Your an idiot. Ruining lives? 80% of all Americans smoke Marijuana. It's easier to get than Alcohol. Not to mention Alcohol and Cheesburgers kill more people in America than weed does. Listen, I know you probably spend the majority of your time cleaning your guns, masturbating to pictures of Glenn Beck and watching Faux news, but do us all a favor and shut up. Please do some research before spewing some propaganda you read on a Christian website. Nobody really cares what mouth breathers like you think, so keep praying for the rapture and the rest of us will worry about the future.
10-26-2009 @ 9:43PM
Paul said...
Anyone making an arguement for prohibition is ignorant of history. Those who want pot can already get it, and will always be able to. Those who don't want it, don't have to get it. No amount of self-righteous "We know whats good for you" commentary changes the truth.
10-26-2009 @ 9:50PM
Gary said...
Derek well put. I am a person that is in cronic pain and do not like chemical drugas because of the side effect. I do like to smoke pot because it does relive the pain. those other people that think you should be excuted for smoking pot does not have a clue as to it.s effect. I am not a dead beat have a decent job. support a family and own a porsche and 3 other vehicles. Have more things then I need but it's nice to have them. I got everything by working and the one thing I hate is haveing to deal with drug dealers to get the meds I need since It is not legal where I am at. to every person that hates the drug don't do it but don't tell me what to do and i will not tell you what to do. where you think you have to right to tell me what is good for me and what is not is my business and my business only. and like Derek said. go clean your guns and masterbate to a photo of glen beck. that is where you need to spend your energy.
10-26-2009 @ 10:47PM
jesse said...
hey brainless-
If you would find the time to take your head out of your behind,.. maybe you'd consider doing a little research on what pain killers to do the liver. Or what kind of side-effects and detrement all these prescription drugs do to asthma and cancer victims.
Marijuana has proven research that shows by using medical marijuana for glaucoma, cancer, asthma, depression and a wide array of other related ailments, The patients live much healthier lives for the remainder of their lives. How about you keep your innane, underdeveloped mind under wraps. If you had one actual fact in your so-called opinion, maybe you would'nt receive so many angry responses.
14 states have already passed some form of legislature to provide medical marijuana to patients who would rather live a peaceful rest of their existence instead of dealing with pain pill side effects and fighting with their doctors for their medications. So whats your problem,.. do you still beleive that crap nixon spewed.. or are you just stuck inside someone elses rear-end.
10-27-2009 @ 12:17AM
nana7 said...
Iridium, I agree with you but you forgot one thing. Smoking pot is worse then ciggs. Also smoking pot while on chemo makes no sense.. Your resistance is down and pot is bad for the lungs. To everyone else, anyone who fakes chronic pain deserves to have chronic pain, Perscription pain pills don't work so you just learn to live with it. It's unbearable at time, I cry, but I still manage to work. Getting high would only relieve the pain fpr a short time, then it would return. So you would have to stay high all the time. I've found different ways to deal with it. When the pot no longer gives them that high will they want other drugs made legal..
10-27-2009 @ 1:05AM
Pilaf said...
And yet nowhere in your little rant, good sir, did you mention that an equally or far more destructive drug, alcohol, is widely and legally consumed in these United States on a daily basis. You wouldn't dare attack THAT golden calf of tax revenue, would you? And that's of course to say nothing of tobacco, or even many over the counter legal prescription drugs people abuse on a daily basis.
At the end of the day it comes down to personal accountability. They could legalize every drug known to mankind and I wouldn't have an impulse to use any of them. In the same breath, I would also wish to outlaw none of them nor brand anyone who does choose to use them a criminal. This is a family issue, and a friend issue, and for some a church issue. This is something your social circle and yourself have to deal with, not the law.
10-27-2009 @ 6:54AM
MyKisa said...
I just don`t agree that it is government`s property to tax or sale.....and government darn sure has no place telling me about morals.
10-27-2009 @ 8:58AM
OliveOyl2k said...
Well you are one of the luckiest people I have had the displeasure of reading. You have never had pain so bad that everyday is agony to move or depression so acute you don't know what to do. This all too obvious. As for taking the opiate.. well the medical profession had me HOOKED on opiates for almost 2 years following numerous major surgies and a broken back. I am going to say this once and no more.. the withdrawl from the opiates over marijuana withdrawl.. was 100 fold worse. I was sick for more than a week coming off the pain pills. So my friend, you need to educate yourself better of the medicinal properties of cannibis and what it means to thousands if not hundreds of thousands of folks like myself who depend on this herbal remedy.
10-27-2009 @ 9:38AM
joe said...
you are an idiot
10-27-2009 @ 10:36AM
Reece said...
Do you drink ? That is far more harmful than weed. Weed is not going anywhere. It is a fight that the government can not and will not win. Right we are in the 1920's on the cuspid of prohibition end for alcohol. Welcome to the 21st century. A dawn of a new day and intelligent government thinking has finally arrived.
10-30-2009 @ 9:56PM
Geno said...
This one's for Idiot, opp's I mean Iridium,
or do I .. anyway, I want to thank you for
your ridiculous post, no one could have
express or demonstrated the views of
a person who is on Medical Alcohol ...
as perfectly as you have ..
At least one mother gave a Son good
advice, perhaps yours tried too. It's
clear your fun drug has eaten all but a few
remaining brain cells. Your almost there,
a few more shots, couple more beers, and
the 10 cells you have left .. gone !
You can watch the children die from
Alcohol Poisoning, Alcoholics destroy
themselves and the lives of those who
love them, maybe donate what's left of
your organs to replace those of your
brothers destroyed by Medical Alcohol.
Maybe yours are still functioning, or, at
least haven't die yet.
It's so easy to spot someone who knows
nothing about a subject he comments on.
..... As example .. read your post ......
Now find your Rock and stay there before
you embarrass yourself again.
11-04-2009 @ 8:29PM
DD said...
Iridi dum: You are a complete moron. Have you ever had cancer? Your dreaded "chronic pain"? I am living that nightmare, thank you. And yes, I have used pot to get through it.....ooooooo, put me in jail, I am such a lowlife! I am so glad you don't need it; good for YOU. Just don't tell US what to do. My mother drank herself to death--it wasn't pretty. Alcohol is a scourge, and legal. Why are you so concerned with what others do? Go back to your beer drinking, gun-toting, Faux new loving, tooth-challenged existence and get out of my face...
10-26-2009 @ 6:06PM
JoshT said...
You know how they banned marijuana was unconstitutional right. They needed an amendment to ban alcohol and it turned out to be a disaster. Remember how Al Capone gained his power. I think they should legalize the whole thing. This would lower the gangs profit margins thus reducing the motive to fight over drug turf. This will reduce their firepower significantly.
Reply
10-26-2009 @ 6:19PM
Allan said...
Iridium needs to get a grip. The Mexican drug cartels supply all the Marijuana one can want in the U S and Canada does well, also .
Prohibition works well for the Gangsters. Legalization is coming , so wake up and smell the roses. If the Pot is grown in people's basements in the U S , we can say bye bye to the Mexican Druglords and go after the Meth labs which is the real threat . A Fact !!!
Reply
10-26-2009 @ 6:41PM
sexy beagle said...
New Jersey should legalize medical marijuana . But should be state regulated . What this country need to do is go after the hardcore drugs ie: meth labs . Further there be more space in the prison system for the REAL criminals . Like muderers ,armed robbers , and rapists . Every time you outlaw something you create a another market for some one else
Reply
10-26-2009 @ 6:53PM
heidihanson said...
Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest. Legalize it and it will lose much of its allure. Let people do what they want their own bodies. Get the government out of peoples lives and their personal choices that hurt no one else. Quit turning the USA into the Prison nation with drug crimes.
Reply
10-26-2009 @ 7:08PM
JME said...
With out any doubt the 'War on Drugs' has been a complete failure and a colosal waste of taxpayer money. I don't smoke anything so physically its nothing to me except for the waste of taxpayer money coming out of my pocket. That said, my 72 y.o. mother has athritis as bad as any person can get and I've thought a thousand times that marijuana if legal would help her with the pain.
Reply