Spot, I have some bad news: Your breath stinks. It doesn't just stink bad, like you just ate a bowl full of dog food. It smells like -- well, I'll just have to come out and say it -- your breath smells like dog breath.
Not brushing and flossing your teeth may be the main reason, and eating dog food doesn't help, but I think the main reason is that you're a dog. No offense.
While I can't do anything about that, I did find a free green bone offer online from Breath-A-Licious. You've chewed on bones before, but nothing like this. Not only does it freshen your dog breath, Breath-A-Licious promises, but it cleans teeth and aids in digestion. That couldn't hurt, right?
The free medium-size bone is supposed to be tasty -- at least for dogs -- and it's made from all-natural ingredients and contains protein.
So while you can't pick up a toothbrush or dental floss, Spot, please -- for the sake of our relationship -- give this new bone a try. I love you.
Dear Spot: Try a free Breath-A-Licious green bone -- please