Bizarro World, where everything runs backwards, has taken over the NBA, and I somehow missed the boat.
John Tesh, who you wouldn't mistake for hip if he smacked you upside the head with his new-age guitar, is sponsoring a contest that gives away $20,000 in cash to people videotaping themselves rapping, dancing or showing their best basketball moves to his song "Roundball Rock."
As a white guy who can't jump, dance, rap or play basketball for squat, I am amazed that Tesh -- a white guy who can't dance or rap, and who knows about his basketball skills -- is sponsoring such a lame contest with music that grates on your ears after a few plays.
Actually, I don't know if it qualifies as a song since it doesn't have words. It's more of a jingle. It's the theme song for NBC's NBA coverage, so if you've seen a basketball game on TV, you've probably heard Tesh's music. And if you've listened to his new-age music or didn't throw up at his Pat Boone-like tunes, then you must have a strong stomach.
Here's Tesh's video about the contest. See for yourself how embarrassing it is:
While I give him some credit for the catchy NBA tune, turning what should be a 30-second commercial introduction during a timeout while Kobe Bryant gets a breather into the background music for a minute or more of rapping, dancing or lame basketball moves, should be criminal.
Some of the sample videos on YouTube or Tesh's Web site are laughable enough that you'd think they were a farce, and that Will Ferrell is promoting a sequel to his basketball movie "Semi-Pro." Some guy trying to dance to this dreck looks like a spoof of hip-hop dancing.
Eminem must be pleased to know he doesn't have any rapping competition, as seen in a rap video entry to Tesh's contest.
The deadline to submit your entry to Tesh's Facebook page is June 30. Please don't do it.
Aaron Crowe is an unemployed journalist in the San Francisco Bay Area. Read about his job hunt at www.AaronCrowe.net
Friends don't let friends enter John Tesh's rapping contest