Bah humbug! Northern Virginia mall gives Santa the boot!
by
Oct 22nd 2008 4:00PM
Updated Oct 24th 2008 4:20PM
UPDATE: The AP is now reporting that the mall is rehiring Graham. Earlier in the week, the mall had apologized to its fired Santa and is trying to help him find a job. But now that won't be necessary.
Santas, Santas Everywhere
Clement Rozier dressed as Santa Claus skis down the slopes with telemark skis in the alpine ski resort of Verbier on December 17, 2007.
Photo credit: REUTERS/Denis Balibouse (SWITZERLAND)
Wearing the Santa Claus bonnets and dressed in bathing costumes runners, start their sponsorship event at an open-air ice stadium of downtown Budapest. The local participants collected money to help Hungarian sportmen and sportswomen for the next Paralympics Games.
Photo credit: GERGELYBOTAR/AFP/Getty Images
A man dressed as Santa Claus frolics with others in the sea during the 63rd Christmas bathe in Nice, France. 250 swimmers took part, swimming in water that was 59 degrees Fahrenheit.
Photo credit: AP/Lionel Cironneau)
An ambassador for the group G.R.I.N. (Golden Retrievers In Need), Otis greets visitors to the Crown Classic Dog Show dressed as Santa Claus on December 15, 2007 in Cleveland. G.R.I.N. is a northeast Ohio group which rescues and finds homes for Golden Retrievers.
Photo credit: AP/Amy Sancetta)
Portuguese people dressed as Santa Claus attempt to break a Guinness World Record for the largest number of parading Santas, Sunday Dec. 16, 2007 in Porto, Portugal. The organization expected more than 16,000 participants.
Photo credit: AP/Paulo Duarte)
Noel Quilatan, a traffic enforcer dressed in a Santa Claus outfit, directs traffic along an intersection in Taguig City in metro Manila on December 18, 2007.
Photo credit: REUTERS/Cheryl Ravelo (PHILIPPINES)
Dressed in Santa Claus outfits, a diver waves to children at an Aquarium in Busan, South Korea. Christmas is one of the biggest holidays to celebrate in South Korea. (AP Photo/Yonhap, Cho Jung-ho)
Amusement park employees dressed as Santa Claus ride a roller coaster during a promotional event to coincide with the Christmas holiday at the Everland amusement park in Yongin, South Korea.
Photo credit: AP/Lee Jin-man)
Bob Evans, dressed as a traditional Santa Claus at the 2003 Maryland Christmas Show in Frederick, MD. Santa Claus should set up shop in Kyrgyzstan to optimize the delivery of Christmas gifts to 2.5 billion homes worldwide all in one night according to Swedish engineering consulting firm SWECO, which calculated Santa's optimal journey based on a range of factors from the Earth's rotation to which areas of the planet are most densely populated.
Photo credit: AP Photo/Timothy Jacobsen)
Local street dancers, wearing Santa Claus dresses dance on Budapest's Vorosmarty square during a celebration marking St. Nicholas' Day, December 6, 2007.
Photo credit: BALINT PORNECZI/AFP/Getty Images
Therein lies at least one potential reason for Tysons decision to fire Michael Graham. The apple-cheeked elf pulls down $30,000 per Christmas season, which translates to $175 per hour. Admittedly, he has to provide his own Santa suits, which cost $900 apiece, as well as his own $725 boots. Beyond that, he must hoist thousands of children into his lap for several hours a day, cheerfully smiling as they pee on him, whine, tug his beard, and burst into tears. He must be as happy for the first child as he is for the last, smiling and posing for obnoxious parents and dealing with the grumbling, minimum-wage elves who run the photo booth.
Although Tysons Corner has not given any reason for Graham's termination, the mall recently hired a new company, World Wide Photography, to provide Christmas photography services. According to a representative from World Wide, $175 per hour is roughly ten times the going rate for mall Santas. Then again, if my childhood photographs are any indication, the average Mall Santa is a miserable-looking guy in a stained suit with a fake beard hanging askew on his face. By comparison, Michael Graham appears to be a warm, generous, and caring reflection of the spirit of Christmas.
With the economy in shambles and disposable income a rarity, it looks like this is going to be a difficult holiday season for malls, even in the wealthiest part of the country. That having been said, firing Santa isn't the best way for Tysons to inspire potential customers to indulge the spirit of Christmas. Taken at face value, Michael Graham's hourly rate may seem outrageous; taken as a measure of Christmas, it doesn't seem like very much at all.
Bruce Watson is a freelance writer, blogger, and all-around cheapskate. He wonders if Tysons' next move will be to sell reindeer burgers in the food court.