I like money, particularly bills. I like their weight, their smell, the pretty colors that they have, and the cool pieces of colored lint that the manufacturers put in the paper.
What I don't like, however, are the pictures. Not to insult Messrs. Washington, Lincoln, Grant, and Franklin, but these guys were revered for their intelligence, statesmanlike qualities, and dedication to the country, not their looks. I give partial passes to Jefferson, Hamilton, and Jackson, as they at least had good hair, but even they would be hard pressed to get a spot on a regional nightly news show, much less the coveted national anchor spot. And don't even get me started on McKinley, Cleveland, Madison, Wilson, and Salmon P. Chase; let's just say that I'm glad that they're stuck on the really large denominations.
Every so often, I've though about what America's currency would look like if the country had been established by attractive people. Luckily, thanks to Freaking News, I need wonder no longer. The site, which regularly features photoshop contests and strange news, has identified a recent trend in the United Kingdom: apparently, people with money, images of celebrities, and way too much time on their hands have begun combining the monetary portraits and the paparazzi pictures. In the process, they have created art that ranges somewhere between the monstrous, the amusing, and the deeply inspiring.
Excited by the potential of this process, Freaking News has conducted Photoshop money contests of its own. Check them out; the results are sure to give you a smile...particularly if you've ever wondered how Brad Pitt would look on a $50!
Bruce Watson is a freelance writer, blogger, and all-around cheapskate. If, for some reason, he ever ends up on currency, he hopes that the designers will use common sense and hire a stand-in. Perhaps Bruce Willis?
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