Years and years and years ago, way past the statute of limitations, I found myself walking to a Hardee's restaurant with my then girlfriend. We were both...um...impaired. Actually, to be completely honest, it was 1:00 A.M., we were...impaired...out of our minds, and desperate for food. Thinking about the grease-laden Hardee's menu, we'd already decided which items we were going to get. I'd more or less settled on the whole right-hand column, which, for some reason, I was able to remember with photographic clarity.
We were in a hurry, so we'd just put on our pajamas. Actually, I was wearing pajamas and she was wearing my bathrobe and a pair of pajama bottoms. As we neared the eatery, I decided to get ready. I didn't want to be slowed down by the trouble of reaching for my wallet, disentangling my keys, or any other difficulties. We were going to go in, get fed, and get out.
My pockets were empty. So were my girlfriend's. Just to be sure, we double, triple, quadruple-checked everything. No dice: we were out of luck. Sadly, hungrily, we returned home.
Recently, I found myself giggling at a similar story. Apparently, Wade Churchward, a resident of Careton, New Zealand, found himself in the same situation, but decided to pursue an alternate form of payment. Stoned, hungry, and out of cash, he attempted to convince a convenience-store clerk to accept 21 grams of marijuana in exchange for a bag of potato chips and two packs of M&Ms. (ed- According to estimates in the High Times, a gram of pot sells for around $12 in the U.S., or $252 for 21 grams. Very pricey muchies.) Given that the next person in line was a policeman, the clerk turned Mr. Churchward down.
While I am sure that justice was done, I weep for the death of the barter economy!
Bruce Watson is a freelance writer, blogger, and all-around cheapskate. He's tried to barter, but his landlord refuses to accept delicious homemade preserves as payment. Fool.
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